Even in the darkness comes light. In my drunken stupor I met my first husband, Jeff. We had been together for a few months, but it was in an absolute alcohol haze when we got pregnant. We were stupid and did what we thought was right and got married. We did okay until I finally “woke up” because I had quit smoking and drinking the day I found out I was pregnant, and realized he was a horrible father and husband. He had been at the same job for more than 2 years before we met, but after he found out we were pregnant, it was like he literally flaked. He went from job to job and couldn’t keep anything steady while I worked full time. After our son was 4 months old, we were separated. I gave him an ultimatum. I told him that I was going to live with my parents until he decided to be a father and a husband. After about 2 months of separation, with him not paying child support, and only seeing his son about once a month, we did attempt counseling, but we were just going through the motions. I returned to college and got a part-time job to take care of my son. I would drive by his house every day on the way to work and school and just shake my head. During the next 2 months, he had seen his son twice but lived less than a quarter mile from us. I called his mother one day and said that I would like to drop off Jacob on my way to work to spend time with them. My father and I walked into the house, and as I handed Jacob to his grandmother, I said, you should probably change him, he just spit up and smells like breast milk. I don’t know why that set Jeff off, but it did. The next thing I know is he started yelling about me wanting a divorce. I followed him out onto the front porch and told him that I never once mentioned the word divorce, but we would not be getting back together until he decided to be a father and a husband and turned around and went back into the house to say good-bye to Jacob. Jeff just followed me in the house and kept yelling about divorce. I calmly bent down and smiled at Jacob and picked him up and told him that if he did not calm down, I would have to take Jacob back home. I kissed Jacob and gave him back to his grandmother hoping that would calm him down and the next thing I knew, he came charging across the room at me and grabbed me by throat and lifted me off the ground and yelled in my face, ‘if you ever try to take my son away from me, I will kill you. I will fucking kill you. Do you hear me?” My dad came across the room and grabbed Jeff by the arm and said, “Jeff, I don’t think this is your best moment, but if you don’t take your hands off my daughter, I will snap your fucking neck.” I was in absolute shock. I wanted to take Jacob with me and my dad told me to just get in the car. I remember shaking all the way to work and asked my dad why he didn’t stop him, and my dad told me that he wanted me to see him for who he truly was, and he would have never let him hurt me, but he did want him to scare me. I did go to work but couldn’t stop crying and my boss had to take me into the back room and then I finally left for the night. I immediately filed for divorce and never looked back.